总是精神振奋。哪怕外面下雨，很黑或是压抑的冬天的下午。业务不景气，利润率刚刚上升老板心情不好，每个人都低着头。那还是没有理由扔掉你的微笑。所以这是不好的一天；这也会过去，太阳还会升起。不管你的境况如何，事情总是会慢慢变好。

保持一个精神振奋积极的外观是一个技巧。开始你不需要相信它——只是这么做就好了。去演，去装，但是要去做。过一段时间你就会发现它不是表演，你没有假装，你真的感到精神振奋了。这是一个技巧。你是哄你自己，没有别人。把荷尔蒙调节到微笑的扳机上。这些荷尔蒙能让你感觉更好。一旦你感觉好了，你会笑得更多于是产生更多的荷尔蒙。你所要花费的就是最初的几天你不开心时的微笑，你就会开始一个让你一直感觉良好的循环。

一旦你被人看成乐观积极的人，人们就会更多地想和你相处——没有比乐观的人更吸引人的了。

带些花到办公室让你的桌面明亮。口哨，微笑，大笑。绝不要展现你内心感觉很不好。当有人说“最近怎么样”时你很容易回答：“噢，还行。我想，不能抱怨，不能牢骚，你知道的，继续挣扎”这是一个陈词滥调。试试这个“很好，其实非常好。不错。”这就是你的小技巧。

所以有人给你更多的工作时你简单的做就是了——这不可避免并且是你的宽恕之心的一部分，当你想你可以在地道的尽着看到一丝光亮一样。简单地说，“噢不，不要有再多的活了，没有人看到我有多忙么？这太多了”。如果这是不可避免的抱怨不会改变任何事情，那么可以说：“好的，放下吧，我会尽快处理。谢谢。”为什么责备信使呢？我肯定他不是个人制造这些额外的工作给你只是为了让你生气。所以拖拉着让额外的工作做完？结果又怎么样？所以还是乐观着把活干完。每一秒的抱怨都会浪费你的生命。每一秒的乐观积极会加上一秒。自己选吧。

这是不好的一天；但它也会过去，太阳还会升起。

Be cheerful at all times. So it’s raining out there and it’s a dark and depressing winter’s afternoon. Business is slack, interest rates have just gone up again and the boss is in a foul mood, and everyone’s keeping their heads down. It’s still no reason to lose your smile. So it’s a bad day; this too will pass, and the sun will come back. Whatever your situation, things will always get better.

Maintaining a cheerful and positive outlook is a trick. At first you don’t have to believe it—just do it. Act it. Pretend. But do it. After a little while you’ll find it isn’t an act, you’re not pretending, you genuinely do feel cheerful. It’s a trick. You are tricking yourself, no one else. Putting on a smile triggers hormones. These hormones will make you feel better. Once you feel better, you will smile more and thus produce more hormones. All it takes is the first few days smiling when you don’t feel like it, and you will start a cycle going that will make you feel better all the time.

Once you are seen as someone cheerful and positive, people will want to hang out with you more—there is nothing so attractive as a cheerful person.

Bring some flowers into work and brighten up your desk. Whistle. Smile. Laugh. Never reveal that you feel like the pits inside. It’s all too easy when someone says, “How are you?” to reply “Oh, OK, I guess, can’t complain, mustn’t grumble, you know, struggling on.” It’s a cliché. It’s a habit. Try instead, “Fine, really good actually, doing OK.” There’s a trick for you.

So someone brings you more work that you simply have to do—it’s unavoidable and part of your remit, and just when you thought you could see a little light at the end of the tunnel. Easy to say, “Oh no, not more bloody work. Can’t everybody see how busy I am? This really is too much.” If it’s unavoidable and moaning isn’t going to change a thing, then maybe saying, “Fine, just dump it there; I’ll get on with it in a moment. Thanks.” Why berate the messenger? I’m sure he didn’t personally generate all this extra work just to piss you off. So it’s a drag having extra work to do. So what? So be cheerful and get on with it. Every second spent moaning and bitching is a second taken off your life. Every second spent being cheerful and positive is a second added on. Take your choice.

SO IT’S A BAD DAY; THIS TOO WILL PASS, AND THE SUN WILL COME BACK.

不管年轻的亚当多么地令人讨厌，你总要从他身上找出些闪光点来——名副其实的闪光点——来谈论他。那就是你的目标——找到一些好的东西来谈。

开始的时候这个可能很难，但是如果你不畏困难它会慢慢变得容易——这就是习惯和开放精神世界的问题。如果我们都习惯了抱怨，那么抱怨就是我们做的。但是如果我们改变我们的习惯，我们可以更积极——尽管这需要付出一些努力才能实现。

为别人担当，没有理由，作为一个总能找到每个人的闪光点的人而广受尊敬吧。那么， 你本想抱怨的人知道这样一个你，所有的同事都知道，将为他们奋斗。这将会让你有一个忠诚的口碑并成为团队中那些不太受欢迎的人的守护天使。

这是一个比较奇怪的关系，但是很灵验——这些人会在紧急情况下支持你。如果有人想害你他们会告诉你。他们会拉下所有的制动因为他们知道你在意。如果你需要帮助，他们是可以求助的人。

神奇的是你是一个彻头彻尾的好人这样的话会传播地非常快——你不说别人坏话，你不抱怨，你为弱者担当，你富于支持性，你在一个烂透的苹果上也能看到至少一个优点。

显然，你需要以诚实真诚的方式来做这件事——说谎或是假装是不行的。如果你，最开始不能找到任何积极的事情可讲，那就闭嘴。但是一定会有某些好的东西可讲的——没有人完全是恶魔或是完全邪恶或是完全恶心的。

所以，回到年轻的亚当。你要说些什么？嗯，作为开场你应该指出他做了好咖啡。或是他总是很准时。或是他很擅长处理愤怒的顾客。或是他有很好的幽默感，或是他总是知道足球比赛的分数。只要坚持说“但是他还不错因为他……”

这将会让你有一个忠诚的口碑并成为团队中那些不太受欢迎的人的守护天使。

No matter how obnoxious young Adam is, you will always find something nice—and genuine—to say about him. That is your objective—find something nice to say no matter what.

At first this may be quite hard, but if you persevere it becomes increasingly easy—it’s all a question of habit and mental out- look. If we are used to bitching and moaning, then that’s what we do. But if we change our approach, we can be more positive—though it does take a bit of effort initially to make this change.

Standing up for others, no matter what, gets you a reputation as someone who can always find something nice to say about everybody. Thus, those who you would have moaned about know that you, of all the work force, will always be fighting their corner for them. It gets you unwritten loyalty and a sort of guardian angel relationship with the more unpopular members of the team.

This is a strange relationship to have, but it works wonders—these are the people who will back you in an emergency. They will let you know if someone is trying to mess you up. They will pull out all the stops for you because they know you care. If you need a favor, they will be the ones to call on.

It’s amazing how quickly the word will spread that you are a thoroughly nice person—you don’t bitch, you don’t moan, you stand up for the underdog, you are supportive, and you can always see at least one good point in a thoroughly bad apple.
Obviously, you will have to do this in an honest and sincere fashion—it’s no good lying or making it up. If you, at first, simply can’t find anything positive to say, then shut up. But there is always something nice to say—nobody is completely evil or wicked or nasty.

So, back to young Adam. What are you going to say? Well, for a start you could point out that he makes good coffee. Or that he is always on time. Or he is very good at handling irate customers. Or he has a brilliant sense of humor. Or he always knows the football scores. Just keep saying “But he’s good because he …”

IT GETS YOU UNWRITTEN LOYA LTY AND A SORT OF GUARDIAN ANGEL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MORE UNPOPULAR MEMBERS OF THE TEAM.

那么如何做到这样？为什么要这样作？嗯，如果你殷勤地赞美别人，这会让人看认为难以置信——这是只是的办公室礼节。做这件事的最好的办法是做得古朴。你要做的就是说：“我真的喜欢你剪头发的样式”，然后问一个问题关于你赞美她的东西，然后做完这个赞美“那么谁给你剪的头发？”

“我真的喜欢你处理客户的方式，你那样说感觉怎么样？”
“我不得不说我喜欢你的报告；你是怎么做的？”

试着避免使用过高的表述。你不喜欢他们的新外套——你不过是“喜欢”它。记住，如果你“喜爱”它，你将想要和他结婚并有孩子。这对一个外套，或是一个报告，或是一个发型，或是某人处理客户的方式而言，是不真实的。
如果你“喜欢”什么东西，可以很随兴地说出来。你可以通过以下方式强调你有多喜欢一件东西

• “我真的喜欢……”
• “我确实喜欢……”
• “我能告诉你我有多喜欢……”
• 也不是必须得有“喜欢”，尽管这是一个非常好的开场词
• “我对……印象很深刻”
• “我认为你真的做得非常好……”
• “你做……的方法确实非常好”
• “我真的很享受你的演讲。它真的很不一样”

当给出赞美时，确实你不能因为轻率或是追随别人而被指责——保证它专业和/或工作相关。我确定你不需要别人告诉你这一点。

要成为赞美别人的人需要很多技巧。

So how to do this? And why? Well, if you do it affably, it makes people think incredibly well about you—it is good office karma. The best way to do it is by being unsophisticated about it. All you have to do is say, “I really like the way you’ve had your hair cut,” and then ask a question about whatever it is you are complimenting her on, and make it about how it was done. “So who did your hair?”

“I do like the way you handled that customer; how did you feel saying that?”
“I must say I liked your report; how is it going down with the board?”

Try to avoid using over-the-top expressions. You don’t love their new coat—you merely “like” it. Remember, if you “love” it, you’ll want to marry it and have its babies. Not true of a coat, or a report, or a hair style, or the way someone handles a customer.
If you “like” something, feel free to say so. You can emphasize how much you like something by

• “I really like …”
• “I do like …”
• “Can I tell you how much I liked …?”
• And it doesn’t just have to be “liked,” although it is a very good one to start with
• “I was impressed by …”
• “I thought you did really well …”
• “The way you did … was very good indeed”
• “I did enjoy your presentation. It was really rather exceptional.”

When giving compliments, make sure you can’t be accused of flirting or coming on to someone—keep it professional and/or work related. I’m sure you don’t need telling this.

BEING THE SORT OF PERSON WHO GIVES COMPLIMENTS IS QUITE TRICKY.

•显示出你空闲，小心眼，鸡毛蒜皮
•鼓励你把嘴角下压——很不招人喜欢
•浪费时间
•让你被其它抱怨者吸引
•让你获得那些什么有效率的东西或是帮助也不能提供的人的尊重
•让你失去动力并陷在一个小圈子内

所以，如果你是一个习惯性的抱怨者你要怎么做？很简单，确保不管你什么时候抱怨你都给自己抱怨的东西提供一个解决方案。如果你看不到解决方案，你就不要抱怨。这样试上几星期，你就会停止抱怨并且很自然地变得平静。

在别人背后说坏话的事非常常见。下次如果你感觉需要说别人的坏话时，确保你走到他们的面前。如果他们不在房间里，就不要说。很简单的规则，但是很有效。一旦他们在那了，你就会停止说他的坏话；当你在办公室里惹到别人时很难做到这一点。如果你有什么话要说，当面说（但是要确保看过这条规则再说——如果你说不出什么好听的话——闭嘴）

抱怨毫无意义。它既没有效率也不会达成任何有意义的事情。

• Identifies you as idle, petty, trivial
• Encourages you to turn the corners of your mouth down—not attractive
• Wastes time
• Makes you a magnet for other moaners
• Gets you a reputation as someone who doesn’t offer any- thing productive or helpful
• Demotivates you and sets up a vicious circle

So, what are you going to do if you are a habitual moaner? Easy, make sure that whenever you do moan you make yourself offer a solution to whatever it is you are moaning about. If you can’t see a solution, you aren’t allowed to moan. Try that for a few weeks, and you’ll stop moaning quite naturally.

Bitching about others invariably takes place behind their backs. Next time you feel the need for a good bitch about someone, make yourself go and do it to their face. If they aren’t present in the room, don’t do it. Simple Rule, but it works. Once they are there, you’ll stop bitching; it’s too hard to keep doing it when you’ve upset everyone in the office. If you’ve got something to say, say it to their face (but do see the introduction to this Rule first—If you can’t say anything nice— shut up).

MOANING IS POINTLESS. IT IS UNPRODUC TIVE AND A CHIEVES NO THING.